Heroic Investing
Welcome! If this is your first time visiting Jason Hartman's website, please read this page to learn more about what we do here. You may also be interested in receiving updates from our blog via RSS or via email if you prefer. If you have any questions about first responder finance feel free to contact us anytime! Thanks!

Mental Toughness with Eric Rittmeyer

Episode:

Guest:

iTunes: Stream Episode

Gary Pinkerton hosts The Mental Toughness Speaker, Eric Rittmeyer. They look at what it means to be mentally tough and how that translates to a happier life. Rittmeyer explains why “approval addiction” is the biggest hindrance to success. He encourages people to take responsibility for their own successes and failures.

Announcer 0:04
Welcome to the heroic investing show. As first responders we risk our lives every day our financial security is under attack. Our pensions are in a state of emergency, a single on duty incident can alter or erase our earning potential instantly and forever. We are the heroes of society, we are self reliant, and we need to take care of our own financial future. The heroic investing show is our toolkit of business and investing tactics on our mission to financial freedom.

Gary Pinkerton 0:38
This is heroic investing Episode 174. In this episode, I talk with Eric redmire. Eric is a US Marine and has done quite a bit after his time of active service earlier in his life. He is a coach. He’s a professional speaker, and he’s a financial professional. And I don’t actually get into his financial services business. He specializes in reverse mortgages, which has gotten kind of a negative image from Wall Street and from some of the SEC regulator types. And I think it could be because of some underlying interests to keep money flowing into Wall Street. For the right individuals, I love this resource, this financial tool to help out specifically aging parents who want access to their money, but perhaps don’t qualify for typical market news. Maybe they have children who also can’t take over their parents homes, buy it from them. And so the family is in this situation where they can’t access liquidity that would make such a much better life for them. And then it also results in this burden for the children to have to figure out how to split up and so the parents home, which perhaps was not the home they grew up in or even if it is, it may not be the home that they want to keep anymore. sentimental value may just not be there and be sufficient to overcome the burdens of trying to split this thing up or just sell it. So I think it’s a wonderful tool. It’s like any other financial tool, or any other tool in life really, you know, I’m reminded of very close friend of mine, Aaron, lender guy that I’ve done much of business with, and is a very good friend, and he wears a hat from the steel chainsaw Corporation. And the reason he does that is because to remind us that the thing that it’s sitting on your mind, like any other tool can be used for both good and bad. And so he tells a story or he just basically paints the mental image of that chainsaw and how that chainsaw can do wonderful things. It can create wood and a very short period of time that can be used to heat someone’s home, you can sculpt amazing artwork with it, you can juggle it if you’re really into crazy sports, but you can also out of malice or out of just making mistakes, you can kill people with a thing, right, and you can kill yourself with a thing very easily. So like that financial tools can be used for good and can be used for bad and they all have the right place. And they have the right application for the right individual right in the right situation. So it has to apply correctly. So I didn’t mean to make this a discussion about reverse mortgages. But that is a wonderful tool fit to the right family situation. We don’t get into that, because I don’t think it fits directly with this audience. But in his other passion. He is an expert in the field of mental toughness and emotional intelligence. And really this is where he leverages his experiences in the Marine Corps. He speaks to audiences all over the country, teaching executives and sales professionals how to overcome the limits brought on by the fear and emotions and replace them with clear, concise, critical thinking that gets results. And he’s got a wonderful repertoire of businesses and executives that he has helped out. I think we get into a really good conversation. You can hear more about him at his website, as we talked about here in this episode. And he’s also you can find him on YouTube or he’s been on several local television and radio shows talking about his expertise. So please help me welcome and enjoy this conversation with Eric redmire. Well, heroic investors. Thanks so much for joining us again for another action packed episode. This one goes a little bit off topic from investing. Certainly my guest has the ability, as I mentioned in the introduction to talk to you about investing in some great ideas, and I’ve given you a contact information in the show notes to be able to reach out on that aspect. But I thought when we think about heroic investors, individuals who are looking to make that leap into what I’ll call alternative investing, and it’s not what you’re going to hear about on Money Magazine. So real estate’s he’s an expert in that for having done it for 15 years, but also in the mental toughness that it requires to be able to go after something like your own small business starting from scratch taking the leap from what’s a pretty comfortable income. Coming from military and from civil service. And then just the toughness to keep the business going or to handle the tenants and toilets, phone calls you get not necessarily in the middle of the night. But there’s ups and downs. There are bumps in the road, as Jason says, with respect to investing direct investing in real estate or other alternative investments. It takes mental toughness. And so I couldn’t be more happy than to invite one of the America’s foremost experts on mental toughness, previously served marine and a real estate investor expert on mental toughness. Eric, thanks so much for joining us here on the heroic investing show. Thanks for having me here. Absolutely. So Eric, I’d like to start off even though I gave a little bit of an introduction pre show, talk a little bit about how you ended up at and military service and how you what you’ve done and the amazing accomplishments following that.

Eric Rittmeyer 5:50
Sure. Yeah. So I, you know, I was in high school, everybody else and I didn’t really have much of a clue what I wanted to do when I graduated. And school was really not on my radar. So I figured I’d go with option B, which was the military. And the Marine Corps for me was just there was nothing else I love the dress blues, I love the uniforms. I’m like, I got to be a marine. So I did four years in the Marine Corps I got out I loved every second of it loved every minute of it, it was it was awesome. But after my four years ROP it was time for me to move on to the next stage of my life. So I got out went back to school and I I joke and say I went to the 14th grade in college I got my mature degree never totally finished up my bachelor’s but I joke about that jumped right into the real estate industry jumped right in the mortgages. And I loved it. I’ve done it for a very long time still currently in the mortgage industry I I do reverse mortgages as well. The mental toughness piece of it. I mean, something I think as prior military like like us, like anybody hear on the phone call. Mental Toughness is something that I’m you know, you hear a lot you read a lot when you initially think about mental toughness, you think about running 10 miles and doing push ups and waking up early and having no sleep. And that’s obviously part of it. But the simplest explanation of mental toughness is really it’s emotional control. And I think it was so intriguing to me about it, why I’ve latched on to this topic and studied it for so long. We’re horrible controlling our emotions. And when the topic comes up about mental toughness, and when people hire me to come talk to their companies, they think it’s gonna be, you know, yelling in your face, and screaming and getting upset with people. And that’s not what it’s about. It’s all about emotional control. And coming out of the Marine Corps, and, you know, you know, the feeling or I guess you’re retired, but you know, my feeling when I did my four years, they took my military ID and they cut it right in front of me, they cut it in half and give me a ride to the front gate. And I was like, Oh my goodness, that military ID is to get me everywhere back then. So I was scary. But um, you know, fast forward to today. So the whole mental toughness piece of it. For me, it’s about emotional control. It’s about understanding, controlling emotions. And for people who are looking to go out on their own, do something that’s a little bit outside their comfort zone, it can be a very scary thing. And that’s where mental toughness can really be a big help there.

Gary Pinkerton 7:50
So how did you end up it’s not a normal combination, mental toughness and reverse mortgage or financial services industry even clue you’re an expert in it, you know, having having been a member serving in the, in the services at all, but definitely the Marine Corps. But how did it come about? I mean, what’s the story there? How’d you end up there?

Eric Rittmeyer 8:08
I just love people. You know, it’s like, I just I love I love watching people. I love understanding people. And you know, big thing for me, I was looking at what I was going through, I have two teenage daughters. I mean, so I’ve obviously learned a little bit about mental toughness over the years. And just I loved analyzing people understanding people, and I just I would notice these common traits and leading salespeople and training salespeople. They’re these common traits that some of the most successful salespeople had. And I just started to really dissect that and try to figure out, why does somebody come into this any line of work, but why does somebody come into a company, some are extremely successful, some are not, you know, I started looking at education, education has nothing to do with it. For the longest time everybody looked at IQ as being the gauge for how successful you were going to be. And you know, this as well as I do. IQ really has nothing to do with success. And the problem is you’re born with your IQ. It’s like sorry about your luck. Either you have a high IQ or you don’t have a high IQ, the awesome thing about mental toughness and emotional intelligence, you can grow your emotional intelligence, you can become more emotionally intelligent, whereas your IQ is your IQ. Sorry about your luck.

Gary Pinkerton 9:08
Yeah, absolutely. And some of this stuff that you’re talking about kind of hit home for me, when I was reading one of Robert Kiyosaki books also a Marine, right. He wrote this book called why a students work for C students. So the self employed are the specialists, the the accountants, the lawyers, the CPAs. You know, they work for the business owners, and then the B students. So why a students work for C students, right? b students work for the government. And first I was like, offended, like, Hey, I’m going to a student. I’m working for the government, you know, but I also learned and when I actually, you know, sat back and said, What’s he trying to say with this book? is absolutely 100% right on that phrase, and it rolls up inside there some aspects of mental toughness, but also just the laziness and the comfort that comes from kind of guaranteed kind of get addicted to a guaranteed income right, like so. I’ve met so many Many people that I’ve experienced and personally, people who are really bad leaders, I mean, they do stuff that would not be accepted in the real world. Everyone out there listening has met these people, and they’re just allowed to get away with, right I mean, if it if your performance, your, your way of treating other individuals, people who work for you or your peers, or even your boss, sometimes, if your income your livelihood was based on how you treat other people, it would make a difference. And you would pay more attention to it right? And it’s not that way, the government, that’s a little bit of a sidetrack. I meant to get to the way students work for C students. And listen, when people build that business in their garage, or they’re working as the hourly blue collar worker and decide to take their skills and start their own business doing that, that takes a little bit of mental toughness. And so it’s either taught by guys like you, or they learn it on their own. But often the students, the people who are used to, you know, getting perfect grades, and always being told how smart they are, I don’t have that mental toughness. And so they don’t jump out there and start doing business. Like the people who, frankly come from military or from civil service, and have the mental toughness and know what they want to do. And they go for it. So you work with people like this all time, and you have a few points, that you kind of wrap up the common things you see, and all these people talk to us about those.

Eric Rittmeyer 11:11
Yeah, I would say you just hit on a couple things there mainly about the jumping out going outside your comfort zone, starting your own business, doing whatever, I got to tell you the number one thing I deal with, and probably the best bit of advice I could give. It’s all about approval, addiction. That is that is the number one thing I deal with. And it’s really the number one thing that’s just a I call it the success killer. You know, everybody, right? Exactly. I mean, we’re in this we’re in this day and age right now of we are addicted to the approval of every single day, it doesn’t matter if their family if their friends, doesn’t matter. So we’re addicted to the approval. And the problem is when you’re addicted to that approval, that translates into fear of rejection. So from a sales standpoint, a lot of what I deal with are people who are not doing well in sales, because they’re afraid of getting rejected, they take an emotional hit when they’re told no. So when we’re looking at this fear of rejection, we’re saying, okay, is this the cause just the effect, we’re treating it as the cause, but it’s really just the effect. It’s the effect of the approval addiction, which is the actual cause. So for a lot of people who were apprehensive about jumping out and normally boils down to, they’re afraid rabbis gonna think about them. It’s Facebook, one on one, how many likes do I get? You know, it’s like, I’m upset because somebody doesn’t like my picture. It’s unfortunate, but it’s very, very true. That is the number one thing that I deal with daily approval, addiction, people who are staying inside their comfort zone, because they’re afraid of everybody else.

Gary Pinkerton 12:30
Yeah, that is a great point. That is an awesome point. Um, diet number two.

Eric Rittmeyer 12:35
Yeah. So number two is the ability to the sounds kind of silly, say, but it’s really thinking about your thoughts. They call it metacognition, it’s thinking about your thoughts. And a mentally tough person is able to constantly analyze their own thoughts. So I know it sounds silly, but you’re thinking about your thoughts. So you take these beliefs you have in your life, and you have to go back and ask yourself some critical thinking questions. Why do I have this belief I have. And unfortunately, when I train people, and when I start asking the critical thinking questions, they don’t really have any kind of statistical data that backs their belief, they’re basing it off of a feeling and emotion. The problem is when you base your, your beliefs when you base the way you do business off of an emotion, that’s the recipe for failure. There’s no statistical data behind it. So critical thinking requires people to take all the beliefs they have, turn them upside down, and ask themselves critical thinking questions. Why do I believe what I believe? And that’s hard to do? People have a very difficult time doing that. And when I do that, with the people I train, they get upset about it.

Gary Pinkerton 13:32
Yeah, you’re right. You’re right. There’s a lot of emotion. There’s a lot of if I believe what you’re saying is not true. That means I’ve been thinking wrong for 30 years. And I’m not willing to go there. Right. And exactly, yeah, so you’re talking about checking your pretenses, right, checking what’s running through your head, and I’ve been doing a lot of work on you know, I’ve been studying Joe dispenza, is we’re on forming habits forming mental remapping. Basically your thoughts remapping what, what is that? That series of subconscious things that’s kind of running your world in the background, and also studying Master Key System with my accountability group, to the point where like, it’s like reading one of those five line poems you used to do as a kid, you spend three hours on it, right? You’re like, Oh, my God, we’re gonna analyze every word. So we’re taking master key systems to that level and handles work is just incredible. But we’re in the section right now, where we’re talking about, you know, the subconscious does not question the programming, right? When you’re analyzing something in your brain, the conscious side and you decide, well, if that’s true, then you pass it along, and it’s true, and then causes you to think about it again, right? So yep, all the subconscious stuff that happens like you grab the beer at the end of the day and don’t really think about I badly need a beer you know, it’s just happening. Right? You have a question? Is this good for me?

Eric Rittmeyer 14:43
Absolutely not. And it’s it’s the whole mindset and there’s no quote that way that basically says, what the mind attends to considers with the mind does not attend to it this messes with the mind attends to continually believes in what the mind believes that eventually does. So basically, what that all says is you’re in Your brain doesn’t understand current, you know present tense past tense. What you plant inside your brain is what it finds a way to make happen. So from we call middle class thinking from middle class thinking standpoint, middle class, people view it as uncomfortable, I don’t want outside my comfort zone. Money is the root of all evil, more money, more problems, they plant these things in their head, unfortunately, it becomes reality. So we refer to as middle class thinking versus world class thinking. World Class thinkers, they understand they know they’re responsible for their results, whatever thought they put in their mind is the result they’re going to get.

Gary Pinkerton 15:31
Yeah, so yeah, guard what comes inside your head, right. So just like be in the century standing there, you know, at the guard post, like you need to guard what you let inside your head. And to the point where if you don’t like fighting people off at the gates all the time, then you got to do what Jim Rohn talks about. And be careful who you’re standing around, like, be careful who you hang out with, right? Because you hang out with negative people with people that are kind of stuck in their way and not interested in moving. And really what you’re doing is constantly battling people at the gates, right?

Eric Rittmeyer 16:00
Birds of a feather flock together. And that’s that’s the other thing emotionally intelligent, mentally tough people are really good at they do not allow anyone to hijack their feelings. So I feel the way I feel I have complete control over my over my emotions. That’s the one thing I have complete control over. I can’t control you how you feel what you think if you’re angry, if you’re happy if you’re sad, but I personally have 100% control over my emotions, mentally tough, people are really, really good at not allowing anybody to change the way they think and the way they feel.

Gary Pinkerton 16:27
Yeah, I’ve recently read Dr. Frankel, his work about time in the concentration camps. And that was one of his biggest things, right is that, you know, they can strip you of all of your physical beans, they can strip you of all of your privileges. And they can prevent you from having food, they can beat you. The last thing that you will always have control up for your last dying breath is how you respond to things. What you let inside and your emotions, right. So how you respond to whatever happens, you get to choose that, which is pretty awesome.

Eric Rittmeyer 16:56
It is we have total control. The problem is we’re horrible controlling the emotion, we see it all the time. You know, it’s the people in these situations, especially in business situations, they allow their emotions to overcome them. So we call getting drunk and emotion. There’s so many things that happen that people get drunk in emotion, they’re incapable of thinking logically, which translates into making bad decisions. So they’re inversely related emotion. And logic is inversely related. As you get more emotional, you’re less logical and vice versa. In business 99% of the time, you don’t want to be making decisions based on emotion. I’m not saying there’s there’s not a purpose, there’s a purpose for them. But in business decision making, it needs to be based off of logic, not emotion.

Gary Pinkerton 17:32
Yeah. And recognizing that we’re really emotional beings, you know, that you realize how often that can take control of us, right.

Eric Rittmeyer 17:38
And we can do training on that, Gary, that’s the problem is as milas prior military, we get training on that not extensive training, but we have no training on any type of emotional training, I call it psychological performance training, we get nothing on that. So people go through school, they test they memorize, they test, they get out, they go to lead a company, they go into a Salesforce, they have no idea how to communicate with the person that’s still on there. They’re not empathetic. They don’t understand other people’s emotions before you know it. They’re upsetting people, people getting fired, they quit. It’s the inability to control motion, and we have no training on it.

Gary Pinkerton 18:09
Yeah, that’s fascinating. You know, I I’ve done a ton of work recently that that could be I could possibly be my biggest challenge ever, at least of habit, controlling kind of things, or improving myself self improvement challenge, I would say in my life, is trying to focus a phrase, it’s not about me, I learned this from Zig Ziglar. And, you know, it’s not about you, it’s about who you’re serving. And that’s when some event happens in your life, you know, how can I help this other person and that’s really, really hard. I also love like iron Rand, for example, and the iron Rand Institute, and she’s about it’s only about you, it’s only the matters. And so I kind of get both points, but they certainly work against each other. I’ve done a lot of work trying to not internalize not take personal things that happen in life. I own them say that I caused them, but not to the point where Why is this happening to me, right? If you can just say, what opportunities does this provide? You know, that the book the obstacle is the way for example, what a great book that talks about, this is a journey and you should embrace new challenges. I guess my question is, is there a more of a shortcut than the approach that I’ve taken about trying to limit your motion response taking deep breaths doing I mean, what do you tell salespeople? When something to door slams in your face? The person emails back real quick, sorry, I’ve changed my mind. We’re not you know, I’m not moving forward. How do you help in those situations?

Eric Rittmeyer 19:29
Yeah, I mean, the best bit of advice and we refer to as systematic desensitization, so don’t ask me to spell it but I can explain. I’m not as smart as you Jeremiah’s my books. Are you ready for love books? By the way? systematic desensitization is basically just like just like it says, systematically, you desensitize your brain to whatever the fear is, or whatever the pain is. So really good, you know, mentally tough people. They’re systematically desensitized, so they take someone like a cold calling standpoint, and a mentally tough person will cold call and cold call and cold call until they view all The nose and all the rejection as a game. So they look at it as you know, and some of the top salespeople I deal with, they all say the same thing. They’re like, Hey, I get paid the money I get paid, because I get rejected nonstop. It’s all I do is get rejected. But I know it’s not me. I understand. It’s nothing that has to do with me internally. It’s nothing to do with my personality with my sales skills, with my height with my weight. It has everything to do with somebody doesn’t want my product. That’s it. easy, simple, easy, simple way to put it. So really, really good mentally tough salespeople. They’re very, very good at understanding has nothing to do with anything other than it’s a job and rejection is a big part of it.

Gary Pinkerton 20:33
Yeah, that took me back to reminded me again of Kiyosaki he, you know, he says in Rich Dad, Poor Dad that the thing that he credits with most of his sales skills came when when he got the advice to if you want to learn how to sell you learn how to fail faster. And so he took up a job on a I think it was like a charity hotline, a call center, right. So I mean, he’s like, I’m getting rejected 1000 times a night. Now, it would take me months to get rejected like that. So am I Xerox copiers? totally true. Because you get to you get desensitized here, right? I mean, I never really put a word to it until you said that. So that’s fascinating.

Eric Rittmeyer 21:06
Yep. It’s like military training. It’s like boot camp. No, it goes to boot camp. And it’s like the first like Marine Corps boot camp like any other branch, but Marine Corps boot camp, you get off the bus, you get on the yellow footprints, a pair of socks on there in your face, yelling, screaming going nuts, you’re like, oh, my goodness, bumping into people. Two weeks later, three weeks later, it’s like, yawn. Okay, I’m used to this. Now, you know what I mean? Not really on obviously. You know, I mean,

Gary Pinkerton 21:26
much more balanced. And and it’s not? Yeah. And it’s not really building up a wall against it. It’s just kind of changing your ability to handle it, I guess. Right.

Eric Rittmeyer 21:35
Yeah, it’s understanding that it’s, it’s understanding the game. And that’s what it boils down to. And again, the most mentally tough people understands the game, they’re not afraid of discomfort, get comfortable being uncomfortable, if you want to put it that way. they’re okay with going outside their comfort zone, we fall into this rut. And in the military, it’s that way, we fall into this rut of comfort, we know when we’re going to eat, we know when we’re going to bed, we know what our paycheck is going to be, or normal, assuming the government functions, we know what our paycheck is going to be. So we know all these things, you come out of that, and we live the rest of our lives living inside that comfort zone, afraid to step out of the box, because we’re free, people aren’t going to approve of us.

Gary Pinkerton 22:09
Yeah, I’d like to take this little short part of the discussion back to where we started, which is that you get the opportunity to respond, right? I mean, you get to make the choice of what that response is gonna be. I remember I was talking with one of my very close friends, Aaron and I was mentioned, yeah, man, I’m stressed out right now. Because coming up, I’ve got two meetings, I’m not really prepared for either one of them. And there’s a decent chance I’ll blow both of them, because I haven’t adequately prepared. And then I was also talking about how sometimes people don’t show up. And that’s very frustrating waste of my time. He’s like, dude, that’s not a waste your time like you choose to say, that’s a waste of your time. You can look at it as a gift. Like, for example, what if the first person of these two doesn’t show up, and that allows you to, you know, it’s a gift to you, and you approach it that way. And it gives you time to prepare for the second one, and you knock that one out of the park. And actually, that’s exactly what happened. And I did see it as a gift. So, again, it was just me choosing right, like, I used to get down on the fact that these people would blow me off and not show up, and I wasted all this time. And then this profession sucks. But I get to choose, like I could also choose it was a good deal. Right?

Eric Rittmeyer 23:12
Not what happens to you. It’s what happens within you. 

Gary Pinkerton 23:16
And that’s good people realize that I don’t know if you have techniques that remind people that or help people that my advice. And what I’ve gone through is, is words of affirmation, like this process of you know, every day, I do some affirmations about, you know, free time that comes to me That’s unexpected is that gift, and I’m going to use to my advantage, you know, just stuff like that to remind myself, right? Because again, I’m programming I’m brainwashing in a good way my head with messages I want it to get.

Eric Rittmeyer 23:40
Yeah, and see that that’s the problem, too. We have these, you know, everything we see is seen through these filters. And these filters, unfortunately, have been developed over our years since we were children. So we’ve used things certain ways we have these patterns that we sense, the number one bit of advice, I would say for situations like that and how to handle this type things is to understand your triggers. You know, we all know what those hot points are, they’re going to set us off the deep end, understand the triggers and understand that’s the biggest problem with emotion. By the time you get drunk in emotion. It’s too late. You’ve already you know, before you know it, you’re walking out of a conversation An hour later, you say oh my goodness, why’d I say that? Because you were so overwhelmed in emotion, you couldn’t think logically. So the key is to try to understand the triggers when you sense them when you walk into an environment where one of those triggers are there. Be careful in how you respond knowing that you’re probably going to be dealing with it from an emotional standpoint.

Gary Pinkerton 24:30
Yeah. Oh my gosh, very solid. I think there was another point or two still.

Eric Rittmeyer 24:33
That was the main thing I would say the the, you know, separating the emotion from logic is one of the biggest one of the biggest things is it’s the ability it’s just basically understanding that you have to view things you go in the business people say Where are you? You’re saying I shouldn’t think emotionally so there’s no place for emotion and I’m not saying that there’s always a place for emotion everywhere, but it’s more about using the emotion for the why and the logic for the how understand they both serve a purpose but knowing more To use Which one?

Gary Pinkerton 25:01
That’s awesome. And there’s no emotion can help you in the right situation. Absolutely. But I think awareness right being aware, you know, of yourself of when you are becoming emotional. I’ve done a lot of work with meditation, a lot of it comes from The Master Key System. But over the last few years, I’ve gotten a lot better at it. But there’s a couple of really good techniques, I think that once I now I’m much more aware of when I become emotional and able to control it and back it down, right. And it’s so helpful, whether it’s mad, or stressed out or whatever, right? Even being too happy can mess you up in this profession. So having the ability to do like, you know, box breathing, that’s a simple technique, right? To bring your heart rate down. Just spend a couple minutes visualizing or something, right. So there’s so many easy techniques to help bring the emotions down, get yourself centered again, logically. 

Eric Rittmeyer 25:50
And it’s not just your emotions, either. Gerome, it’s, you know, self awareness, obviously, is being aware of your emotions, but it’s also understanding other people’s emotions and how they’re going to dictate you know, not that’s the kingdom. So self awareness is a very big piece of it. But you know, you have to understand you mentioned that just a minute ago, every conversation you have with somebody, you’re going to leave that conversation, feeling one of the few different emotions, yeah, sadness, sadness, anger, fear, or shame. So you’re going to feel one of those five emotions, every conversation you leave with somebody. And it’s not just you, it’s understanding other people’s self awareness is important to understand how you leave that conversation. But it’s also important to understand how that other person leaves that conversation. Because again, it’s going to fall into one of those five different emotions.

Gary Pinkerton 26:28
That’s awesome. Great. I wish I really appreciate you getting those. Those points out. Those are big. What else on the topic of mental strength? Do you feel mental toughness that we haven’t haven’t covered?

Eric Rittmeyer 26:40
cover everything pretty much in a big nutshell there. I mean, the one last thing I would say, to kind of summarize all this up would be responsibility. You know, that’s another thing that mentally tough people are really, really good at. They accept full responsibility for their actions. They don’t blame anyone. They’re not out there trying to point fingers, mentally tough, emotionally intelligent people are very, very good at understanding. I am 100% responsible, if I’m succeeding, it’s because of what I’ve done. If I’m failing, it’s because what I have not done, they’re really good at understanding they’re 100% responsible, they’re not going to point the finger at anyone.

Gary Pinkerton 27:12
I’ve been experiment in my poor children about trying to get them to take accountability for everything that happens in their life. I know that might be pushing it a little far. But what I’ve learned in doing that myself, is that when you just say, All right, I’m owning it. That was my fault. No, bird drops on your head, you know it. Okay, I owned it. That was me. But maybe it wasn’t actually you. But what it does, is it in my opinion, in my experience, it takes the emotion out of it. Like Okay, well, I’m not mad at anybody else. Because if you can play victim by blaming it on anything else, yourself, then that feels good in the moment, but then you get caught up in it, right? Yep. And just say, boom, I owned it. That was me. Let’s move forward. Like what am I supposed to learn from that? Or what can I learn from that? But let’s move.

Eric Rittmeyer 27:53
Yeah, and because it’s easier, it’s easier to blame than it is to accept responsibility. And again, that’s what we see between middle class thinking and world class thinking. The middle class people, unfortunately, just always looking for a reason to blame somebody else. It’s not me, must be you must be them. That’s just not the way it is. So mentally tough people are good at understanding that they’re 100% responsible for their own results.

Gary Pinkerton 28:12
Yeah, but and you’re right, it’s it’s easier in the moment, but I think it’s a much harder life. into right. So but if you can develop a little bit of mental toughness, and just take ownership for things and not look to become entitled or to blame somebody else for it. Yeah, it’s harder in the exact moment. But life gets so much better over time, you know?

Eric Rittmeyer 28:33
It sure does. Because then what you end up realizing is what you end up realizing is you have 100% control. So in the mindset of it’s everybody else’s problem. in that mindset, that person has no control over anything. It’s everything that’s exterior that’s affecting where they are, once realize it’s all on, you, floodgates are wide open, you have 100%, you can do whatever you want to do at that point. So initially, maybe there’s a little more pain, but in the long term, you understand you write your own ticket.

Gary Pinkerton 28:57
Yeah, it’s funny how, you know, brainwashing has become this. Prisoner things you can’t do for prisoners, right, or, you know, mental method of torture. But man, I think it’s awesome, especially if you’re using the right materials.

Eric Rittmeyer 29:10
I tell you that I think the best method of torture for me is teenagers. I mean, just random for like a month. That is done. I’d rather be waterboarded

Gary Pinkerton 29:20
Not exactly where I was going. But that was a good one. Yeah, so I think if you can just, you know, but bottom line is if there’s good stuff going on in your brain, it can hear the bad stuff,

Eric Rittmeyer 29:30
junk in junk out, right? That’s right,

Gary Pinkerton 29:32
right. And the easy way to block yourself from eating that thing. You don’t want to listen to that stuff you don’t want to or you know, or whatever is be, you know, saturating yourself with good stuff. So if you get up and you read a good book, you listen to good podcasts, you hang around people who got good messages that insulates you, right and the bad people don’t get to the gate where you’re standing guard, and therefore you can let your your mind and your subconscious work on things that are good and they just, you know, I believe it’s a snowball starts rolling in the right direction for sure. Man, this was a very quick 30 or 40 minutes and we just ran through there. Eric, tell everyone how they can find you. I’m not sure I got it all correct in the introduction. So we want to make sure we have it here and in the show notes.

Eric Rittmeyer 30:14
Yeah, absolutely. So the best place is my website. It’s a mental toughness speaker comm it’s a mouthful mental toughness speaker.com and I do three hour programs I travel around the businesses doing three hour live programs called mental toughness boot camp. So um yeah love to help any way I can if there any questions or comments from any of your listeners and obviously love the love the feedback. That’s awesome. And so I saw a lot of businesses with some realtors and stuff like that salespeople ever do military or any government organizations? Yeah, the mental toughness boot camp is just a general over you know, it’s a three hour program that really can be for anybody primarily, it’s for people selling and sales related industries or entrepreneurs. Then I also have specific ones for realtors mental toughness for realtors and loan originators. Like mortgage people. So I just I know there I know the business understand the business, but the mental toughness bootcamp is really for any type of business who has a sales team.

Gary Pinkerton 31:03
That’s awesome. Eric, thanks so much for joining our audience. Man. I look forward to getting you back. Maybe next time, it’ll be on your other topic.

Eric Rittmeyer 31:09
I’d love to get I appreciate your time. Thanks for having me.

Announcer 31:13
Thank you so much for listening. Please be sure to subscribe so that you don’t miss any episodes. Be sure to check out the show’s specific website and our general website heart and Mediacom for appropriate disclaimers and Terms of Service. Remember that guest opinions are their own. And if you require specific legal or tax advice, or advice and any other specialized area, please consult an appropriate professional. And we also very much appreciate you reviewing the show. Please go to iTunes or Stitcher Radio or whatever platform you’re using and write a review for the show we would very much appreciate that. And be sure to make it official and subscribe so you do not miss any episodes. We look forward to seeing you on the next episode.